corona diaries

[derien]

I know I haven't done many corona diaries, but I had a pretty unsettling experience at the grocery store the other day (not least because I wasn't happy with my handling of it) and it's been haunting me enough that I think I really ought to post about it.

I got into the line for entering the store, and there was a guy with a little boy ahead of me, and a woman came up to stand behind me in line who apparently knew him, and greeted him with griping about T-ball being cancelled. She was crowding me as she was talking with him, but at that point there was space for me to slide to the side a bit. As the line moved up, however, and she was no longer talking with him, she continued to always stay just over the line marked on the sidewalk; and those lines don't feel like 6 feet to me to begin with. Eventually I was feeling crowded, so I turned and gave her a shooing motion with my hand.

She glared at me and snapped, "Don't come near me!"

I was surprised by the vehemence of the response, so I said (in what I thought was a quite reasonable voice), "That's what I'm trying to say, you're getting a little close."

"Don't touch me!"

So then I'm starting to get a little wound up, because I'm too empathic and when people give me a lot of anger I start to get escalated, but then I realized that she had this high-necked jacket on and no mask was visible (hidden? or she didn't have one?) so I thought she might be concerned because she had forgotten her mask, so foolishly I asked her, "Do you have a mask?"

"Whatareyou, BLIND?" (without the customary pauses between words.)

"Because I have a clean bandana here you could use-"

"You can stop talking to me now!" (Not loudly spoken, but intensely.)

So I turned back around - not without a huff, I'll admit - and did not look at her again. But I kept wondering what I could do to repair this interaction, as I was wandering around the store. Buy a flower for her? No, something about her tone indicated if I gave her chocolates she'd throw them at me. Finally it occured to me that she had possibly been intentionally baiting me. Possibly even the constant crowding was intended to get a rise out of me? Maybe she even had a gun and wanted an excuse to shoot someone, I don't know.

And it's continued to bother me. I've been lying awake each night wondering what I should have done differently, and escalating my blood pressure when I need to get to sleep. I did go to a store manager and ask if it weren't policy that people should be wearing masks, but he informed me that 'Due to some pre-existing conditions, some people can't wear masks. It's a slippery slope, I know.' Well, and if he confronted her, he could get shot, as current news shows, so I don't blame anyone who doesn't want to get into that.

I don't know. I just don't know. I really just don't know. Even I really just don't know.

Comments

[cuddyclothes]

You did EXACTLY the right thing! You were protecting yourself and protecting her! That's one things these idiots don't grasp, it's mutual protection. You were polite, you didn't react in a hostile manner. She was a bitch through and through. She had no right to violate the 6 foot rule, no right to speak to you that way. I'm sorry, this just makes me so mad. A friend of mine is a nurse who's had colleagues die and not just when they are in the trenches. One nurse took care of a covid case that was extremely mild. He left the hospital; she died.

The best thing to do is to step back once you've engaged and the person has basically let you know they don't care about your life or theirs. Our grocery stores have security enforcing the six foot rule and I am incredibly grateful.

Sorry for going off but IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

[derien]

I appreciate the validation, so much. There's so many things I keep turning over in my mind about the situation. Wondering if I should have dressed better for going to the store (I was wearing my old gardening clothes) - but I feel like this is not grade school, I shouldn't have to be dressing a particular way to avoid being bullied!

Eor says I should just cough and maybe pretend I'm answering the phone and say things that I could say with the conviction of truth, "The body aches are terrible!" (I've been working hard around the property.) "They don't want me at work" (because I'm only working th/fr right now) "and I shouldn't go out" (because nobody should go out) "but I needed to get food."

You're right, clearly she doesn't care about killing people. I seriously wondered if she wanted to kill me.

[laurenthemself]

That sounds terrifying. I think you did all you could.