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My birthday
I'm just going to do one update for everything...
My Grandfather's funeral was a lovely, 2-day event, involving people speaking, singing, and even a gun salute. I won't bore you with all the details.:) It was great to see family, we all had a lot of fun.
Yeah, I know it's not supposed to be fun at funerals, but it tends to be that way on both sides of my family. When my other grandmother died, more than ten years ago, now, the drinking and visiting went on for about a week. (Unfortunately, the result of that was a couple more funerals, when my second-cousin then drove his car headlong into a tour-bus, killing himself, his girlfriend, their unborn baby, and her little brother. No drinking at this grandfather's funeral, that would have been inappropriate as he didn't drink.)
In this past week I got as far as an interview with a recruiter at a very reputable placement agency. I don't know if anything will come of that, but it's a start.:)
And today's my birthday.:) I can't help but feel happy on my birthday, generally. Although my mood can be fragile, at times. My 30th sucked, because nobody remembered it. So far today is good. I took the initiative and invited a few people out for drinks and dancing. At my age I can't wait around and hope someone will notice. Everyone thinks that if you're older you don't want your birthday noticed. I do, I like to be the center of attention SOMETIMES, and if feels appropriate and okay on my birthday.
So far I've had a good day - woke up late, had a leisurely morning, scraped the barn a little and did some painting on the shed.
My brother called, which is always a really nice thing. He's great to talk to, about just about anything. Very smart, insightful, and has a sense of fun. He had made up a tune this morning, (he plays bass guitar) and played a bit for me on the phone. When I said I wanted him to tape it for me he said "I wondered who I was making this for!" So now I have a tune for me, that's so utterly cool.:) It's pretty, sounds distinctly Irish influenced.
The only thing on the down side - I have been a little cranky with a friend of mine all this week. I don't feel mad today, and hopefully I won't feel upset when I get a couple of drinks in me tonight. I don't want to make a scene and have it ruin people's night. Besides, he's going to be moving accross the country in a couple of months, so I don't want to be confrontational at this point. He might well drift out of my life soon, anyway. I'm just afraid that I will let him do so, and he'll never understand that behaving that way hurts people, and he'll go on doing it to other people and wondering why he can't be truely close to others. That would be a betrayal, by me, of friendship. I feel I have a duty, here, and I don't want to do it.
The situation is, he pointedly hides information from people. That seems small, put that way, but it pans out to a big thing over a long time. One knows how close of a friend one is by how much information you get from someone. He will hide the names of people he's hanging out with even from the people he's dating. It's very weird. It seems to be a game he plays to increase his own ego - he has something over other people if he knows stuff they don't... or, perhaps, as one of his friends has suggested to me, he thinks it gives him an air of mystery. Who knows what the inspiration is, all I know is that it comes off like a hot-and-cold thing, because sometimes he'll be very open with information about his emotions and past. Makes one feel like a yo-yo. Makes one feel as though one is getting slapped in the face. Makes one feel important and then suddenly like one is considered dirt. It hurts.
But, I like him and don't want to confront him. Also, I don't think he can change. Also, if he doesn't consider me important to him, well, one can't make someone feel close if they don't. So, I think I'm going to be a wimp yet again.
Although I may engage in some 'public mocking.' That's how my own family deals with behavior problems and communication. It's done kindly and with a sense of humor.:) Though this guy doesn't always take things in the humor they are intended, so I don't know if it will work out right. I need to be careful.
My Grandfather's funeral was a lovely, 2-day event, involving people speaking, singing, and even a gun salute. I won't bore you with all the details.:) It was great to see family, we all had a lot of fun.
Yeah, I know it's not supposed to be fun at funerals, but it tends to be that way on both sides of my family. When my other grandmother died, more than ten years ago, now, the drinking and visiting went on for about a week. (Unfortunately, the result of that was a couple more funerals, when my second-cousin then drove his car headlong into a tour-bus, killing himself, his girlfriend, their unborn baby, and her little brother. No drinking at this grandfather's funeral, that would have been inappropriate as he didn't drink.)
In this past week I got as far as an interview with a recruiter at a very reputable placement agency. I don't know if anything will come of that, but it's a start.:)
And today's my birthday.:) I can't help but feel happy on my birthday, generally. Although my mood can be fragile, at times. My 30th sucked, because nobody remembered it. So far today is good. I took the initiative and invited a few people out for drinks and dancing. At my age I can't wait around and hope someone will notice. Everyone thinks that if you're older you don't want your birthday noticed. I do, I like to be the center of attention SOMETIMES, and if feels appropriate and okay on my birthday.
So far I've had a good day - woke up late, had a leisurely morning, scraped the barn a little and did some painting on the shed.
My brother called, which is always a really nice thing. He's great to talk to, about just about anything. Very smart, insightful, and has a sense of fun. He had made up a tune this morning, (he plays bass guitar) and played a bit for me on the phone. When I said I wanted him to tape it for me he said "I wondered who I was making this for!" So now I have a tune for me, that's so utterly cool.:) It's pretty, sounds distinctly Irish influenced.
The only thing on the down side - I have been a little cranky with a friend of mine all this week. I don't feel mad today, and hopefully I won't feel upset when I get a couple of drinks in me tonight. I don't want to make a scene and have it ruin people's night. Besides, he's going to be moving accross the country in a couple of months, so I don't want to be confrontational at this point. He might well drift out of my life soon, anyway. I'm just afraid that I will let him do so, and he'll never understand that behaving that way hurts people, and he'll go on doing it to other people and wondering why he can't be truely close to others. That would be a betrayal, by me, of friendship. I feel I have a duty, here, and I don't want to do it.
The situation is, he pointedly hides information from people. That seems small, put that way, but it pans out to a big thing over a long time. One knows how close of a friend one is by how much information you get from someone. He will hide the names of people he's hanging out with even from the people he's dating. It's very weird. It seems to be a game he plays to increase his own ego - he has something over other people if he knows stuff they don't... or, perhaps, as one of his friends has suggested to me, he thinks it gives him an air of mystery. Who knows what the inspiration is, all I know is that it comes off like a hot-and-cold thing, because sometimes he'll be very open with information about his emotions and past. Makes one feel like a yo-yo. Makes one feel as though one is getting slapped in the face. Makes one feel important and then suddenly like one is considered dirt. It hurts.
But, I like him and don't want to confront him. Also, I don't think he can change. Also, if he doesn't consider me important to him, well, one can't make someone feel close if they don't. So, I think I'm going to be a wimp yet again.
Although I may engage in some 'public mocking.' That's how my own family deals with behavior problems and communication. It's done kindly and with a sense of humor.:) Though this guy doesn't always take things in the humor they are intended, so I don't know if it will work out right. I need to be careful.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Evem though I sent you a private birthday greeting, I thought someone should wish you a happy birthday in your LJ.
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
And I DO think funerals should be fun, I just get the impression that the rest of the world thinks my family is odd.:)
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!