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It was actually cool to see V. and StratfordOnGuy and B. at work yesterday.
StratfordOnGuy still hasn't had the teeth pulled - they've had him on antibiotics continually for months and the infection in his jaw is not going down - in fact it had come back to the point he called out sick from work the week I was gone. The last day before I went on vacation he mentioned he'd gone on a vegan diet and had lost 16lbs, and he was delighted with that, but I'm thinking this may not be the healthiest thing to do while he's fighting infection in his bones. I don't think he mentioned it to his doctor. I'm also not sure I trust any doctor who leaves him on antibiotics for months with an infection in his bones, and yesterday I urged him to get a second opinion.
One of the guys I was in class with told me Moose had put in his notice while I was away, but that turned out to be not quite the truth - he had considered it but changed his mind. He was pissed because a newbie - Junior, who he trained, in fact - got the shift he wanted. I don't blame him, because really that's one of those grossly unfair things that they're doing to us. Why do they make the pretense of letting us bid on shifts by seniority and THEN take the newbies and convert them to full time after the shift bid and give them shifts they wouldn't let the people with seniority bid on? This doesn't make sense.
People are saying Moose is still angry at me for yelling at him at the Checkpoint a few months ago. I feel badly about that. Yeah, I was angry with him, I felt he was picking on someone, but I'd have done the same for him if the situation had been reversed. It takes a lot for me to get to that point, and then when I do I don't necessarily make good choices. If I'd been able to control myself for long enough to get him back in a private room I'd also not ever have had my say, because I would have continued controlling myself. This is a great flaw in my personality - I really need to learn how to express my anger in directed ways, not wait until I go off on people. But it's not as though I hadn't gone through proper channels up until then - I'd spoken to Supervisors about the problem and been assured it would be dealt with, but it hadn't - or at least not to the effect that I really thought it needed to be. At that moment I felt as though nothing was going to get through his head unless I got a little intense. And to an extent it worked - he backed off. Now I just have to wonder when he's going to get back at me. Which just makes me sad. I have some natural sympathy toward liking Moose. He's so angry at the whole world. But I guess I do feel as though a good deal of the world really hasn't treated him well - I've been witness to it. And I understand being angry. There've been times in my life when being angry has been the only thing that kept me going. And, I know how I'd have reacted, when I was in that mode, to someone yelling at me and then expressing that they really don't hate me and they'd like things to be good between us - "Sure. Right. Let me just drop my guard so you can stab me in the back, shall I? I think not." (And I had that happen to me in second grade - let down my guard and she stabbed me in the back.) If I'm clumsy about handling this it will backfire in my face, and I'm not known for my subtlety and grace. So even though some people are saying, "I'm glad you did it, he was getting too big for his britches," I feel as though I fucked up. I just gave him another thing to be angry about.
Grah. Maybe I'm having a hormone crash. I was supposed to put a new patch on yesterday - this one's probably all used up. It's a lovely, sunny day, here, and I should go for a walk.
How damned weird, having the day off midweek. I can't do laundry because it's midweek, and the few groceries I need to get can wait until 4PM when Eor comes home with the car. He's got the car because the van is getting the new propane tank installed. I certainly need to do something besides sit in front of the computer.
(ETA 18:47 - I didn't, in fact, go do anything until 14:30. Then I went for a walk and that made me feel even worse. So anxious, self-conscious and completely blah. And missing LooksToAlaska like mad. :( Was so glad when Eor came home. I'm sick of being depressed and weepy so often with no warning like this and killing whole days with it. Also, I called the insurance company and asked them why I paid $90 for the prescription antacids. The answer was because they cost over $300. 40 pills. Damn things should be made of platinum for that. It would be cheaper to get therapy.)
StratfordOnGuy still hasn't had the teeth pulled - they've had him on antibiotics continually for months and the infection in his jaw is not going down - in fact it had come back to the point he called out sick from work the week I was gone. The last day before I went on vacation he mentioned he'd gone on a vegan diet and had lost 16lbs, and he was delighted with that, but I'm thinking this may not be the healthiest thing to do while he's fighting infection in his bones. I don't think he mentioned it to his doctor. I'm also not sure I trust any doctor who leaves him on antibiotics for months with an infection in his bones, and yesterday I urged him to get a second opinion.
One of the guys I was in class with told me Moose had put in his notice while I was away, but that turned out to be not quite the truth - he had considered it but changed his mind. He was pissed because a newbie - Junior, who he trained, in fact - got the shift he wanted. I don't blame him, because really that's one of those grossly unfair things that they're doing to us. Why do they make the pretense of letting us bid on shifts by seniority and THEN take the newbies and convert them to full time after the shift bid and give them shifts they wouldn't let the people with seniority bid on? This doesn't make sense.
People are saying Moose is still angry at me for yelling at him at the Checkpoint a few months ago. I feel badly about that. Yeah, I was angry with him, I felt he was picking on someone, but I'd have done the same for him if the situation had been reversed. It takes a lot for me to get to that point, and then when I do I don't necessarily make good choices. If I'd been able to control myself for long enough to get him back in a private room I'd also not ever have had my say, because I would have continued controlling myself. This is a great flaw in my personality - I really need to learn how to express my anger in directed ways, not wait until I go off on people. But it's not as though I hadn't gone through proper channels up until then - I'd spoken to Supervisors about the problem and been assured it would be dealt with, but it hadn't - or at least not to the effect that I really thought it needed to be. At that moment I felt as though nothing was going to get through his head unless I got a little intense. And to an extent it worked - he backed off. Now I just have to wonder when he's going to get back at me. Which just makes me sad. I have some natural sympathy toward liking Moose. He's so angry at the whole world. But I guess I do feel as though a good deal of the world really hasn't treated him well - I've been witness to it. And I understand being angry. There've been times in my life when being angry has been the only thing that kept me going. And, I know how I'd have reacted, when I was in that mode, to someone yelling at me and then expressing that they really don't hate me and they'd like things to be good between us - "Sure. Right. Let me just drop my guard so you can stab me in the back, shall I? I think not." (And I had that happen to me in second grade - let down my guard and she stabbed me in the back.) If I'm clumsy about handling this it will backfire in my face, and I'm not known for my subtlety and grace. So even though some people are saying, "I'm glad you did it, he was getting too big for his britches," I feel as though I fucked up. I just gave him another thing to be angry about.
Grah. Maybe I'm having a hormone crash. I was supposed to put a new patch on yesterday - this one's probably all used up. It's a lovely, sunny day, here, and I should go for a walk.
How damned weird, having the day off midweek. I can't do laundry because it's midweek, and the few groceries I need to get can wait until 4PM when Eor comes home with the car. He's got the car because the van is getting the new propane tank installed. I certainly need to do something besides sit in front of the computer.
(ETA 18:47 - I didn't, in fact, go do anything until 14:30. Then I went for a walk and that made me feel even worse. So anxious, self-conscious and completely blah. And missing LooksToAlaska like mad. :( Was so glad when Eor came home. I'm sick of being depressed and weepy so often with no warning like this and killing whole days with it. Also, I called the insurance company and asked them why I paid $90 for the prescription antacids. The answer was because they cost over $300. 40 pills. Damn things should be made of platinum for that. It would be cheaper to get therapy.)
no subject
(Anonymous) 2007-05-22 10:50 pm (UTC)(link)I'm trying to figure away to get back to Maine.....at least for a visit ..........putting it out there ----anybody
got a beat on jobs/apts
LTA
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no subject
(Anonymous) 2007-05-23 02:37 am (UTC)(link)