Am I losing my mind or is this a good idea?

[derien]

As most of you probably know, I've been offhandedly keeping my eyes open to meet a girlfriend - someone who would want to have a relationship with both me and Eor - for a long time (*cough*fifteenyears*cough*). I've done the personals sites - that rout really doesn't seem to work for us. I like getting to know people slowly and finding out if we really have ways of thinking in common. I've also been running binne (bi in northern new england) for almost as long, and used to run polynne (for polyamorous people in this area). I find, though, that having only one thing in common with a person isn't the best way to interact with them. I don't think that starting a really specialized group - like bi, poly, slash writers from Maine - is going to work, because I think it will have probably only me in it, unless I go out recruiting ALL the time (which would probably piss off people on other lists and communities) and constantly ask people to post recommendations or anything at all to the list.

Or... I suppose I could randomly wander around posting stupid things like this and this to all the communities I'm in.

I think I AM losing my mind.

Comments

[kryptyd.livejournal.com]

Well, if you don't ask you'll never know, and if you're not in you can't win and all that. The only thing is if you go out of your way asking around and posting you're bound to meet more of the sort of eejits you warn against on your lj user info page. Do you have the mental energy and stamina to deal with loads of eejits and time-wasters and give them the brush off?

And yet, what great people might be there, too shy to make the first move?

Oh I don't know. I forget how to do this >_

[derien.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the eejits make me want to be a hermit. Still, I know there are people out there who make it worth while. I go through this cycle every few years - I fall back and try to forget for a while, then I recoup my strength and wander into the fray again. I think it might be time for that, yet again. It's been... let me see. At least two years, maybe two and a half since our last attempt.

[lifeofmendel.livejournal.com]

it's strange, isn't it? poly is such an abnormality in our society that you have to start with a basis of looking for people that are poly before you look for people who are similar to you in personality, and finding someone else who is poly doesn't tell you anything about what they're actually like.

but then you find someone you *do* like, and no, they're one of the "regulahs" that wouldn't be able to wrap their emotional heads around a healthy poly lifestyle.

[derien.livejournal.com]

Pretty much it in a nutshell. Which, of course, is why I root for every poly relationship portrayed in fiction, in hopes that someday it will percolate through the societal consciousness and become acceptable.

[(Anonymous)]

Nope, not losing your mind.......looks different-I know I've done it:)
Look on the bright side you are not in the heartbreak that relationships can bring.
I have to read one of Eor's old posts to even remember that I kinda used to have some kind of lovelife. much icrecream later:)
LTA

[derien.livejournal.com]

Heartbreak IS kinda ick, but it's a risk one has to take. :)

Alaska must be close to the most impossible place for you to find anyone!