(no subject)

Have seen Eor off, and came home very depressed. Not having slept well last night couldn't have helped, but the trouble was that when I woke up in the middle of the night I kept thinking about him not being here, soon, and couldn't get back to sleep. To distract myself from being depressed I thought about the Chap Magazine Wodehouse writing contest. It only runs to the end of this month, so I don't suppose I'll do anything with it, but it's a fun idea to think about. Wodehouse characters in the modern world. But that didn't help me get to sleep.

At any rate, I have also talked to that kid up at Morong who screwed up our last service. I figured to go with him and give him a chance to redeem himself. And come back, done some stretching, determined to walk to work, and had a second breakfast of feta, tostitoes, nectarine and blueberries. (First breakfast, with Eor, was leftovers from last night - steak, cheese sauce, mashed potatoes, green beans. :))

Now must go, if I'm walking!

liver and onions

Eor knew that I would want to have liver and onions while he was gone, because we have this truce around onions... I don't cook them and he sleeps with me. But when I showed him how little liver costs - ninety nine cents a pound - he considered trying it, if only I wouldn't cook it with onions. But what are you going to cook it with, then? Garlic? I would try it, I guess.

My brother Eightball called me last night, and his reaction to my looking forward to my 'treat meal' was 'mmmm. yum,.' in that not quite sarcastic or ironic way that he does it - it's kind of along the lines of he's trying to see how you might possibly like that, but it's not coming to him. Eightball does try to be open-minded.

This evening, though, after a long day of worrying about Hawk (the message he had left on my answering machine yesterday was just heartbreaking) and then a long conversation with him when I got home ("you were worried about my sorry ass?!" um yeah, you ARE my little brother!*) I almost wasn't up for cooking, or even eating much at all. Still, I'm glad I did. While it was cooking I did some dishes, and then sitting down to eat it... yum. :) Of course sometimes I think it's just an excuse to cook up a bunch of onions and peppers - if I didn't have liver I'd stick mushrooms in with them.

And I have more for lunch tomorrow. Plus still some leftover mashed potato. :)

Yeah, I can make myself happy over small things. Small matters of getting myself through the day and providing for myself. It's something. Keeps me from brooding too much on Eor not being here. Now I suppose I'll take a bunch of Advil and a Tylenol PM and read for a while until my head drops, and hope that I can sleep through the night.

I should have phoned Eightball back, because we really didn't talk enough last night, but I suppose it'll wait until Wednesday. I hope. Because he, also, is having woman trouble. He's trying to keep a stiff upper lip, but...

My brothers are both such sweet guys. Why do relationships not seem to work out for them? :(

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*and what his girlfriend has been doing sound really like emotional abuse.

ETA: why yes, this IS my own personal LJ and I feel perfectly comfortable posting absolutely mindnumbingly boring posts! ;)