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I feel as though I should be writing entries... I feel as though all I would do would be boringly panicky, unless I concentrate on the most mundane things. Hawk phoned a couple of days ago and he sounded so perfectly normal and like himself it was hard to believe. His voice is so warm and resonant and alive, just like normal. I should probably be talking to him more often so that things won't be a surprise when it gets bad - it'll be a gradual slope into it.
I decided long ago that I would look at the worst possible outcome so that I could be pleasantly surprised if things didn't turn out that way, but that's completely the wrong way to approach this situation. I'm not sure I can change my habits, though.
Hawk told me about his session last Tuesday, I don't recall if it was chemo or radiation and... it was odd, but interesting. I have to admit that I don't really get this meditation thing where people seem to experience things that are like their imagination getting away from them, or hallucinations, maybe. Anyway, his experience was that he laid down on the table in the treatment room where there was doo-wop music playing over the sound system, and he started imaging himself as Medicine Buddha, with the glowing blue skin.
Then he pictured little Medicine Buddhas sitting on each of the cancer spots that they've located in his chest, meditating and healing him.
Then (and this is the part that he related as astonishing, as thought it were not under his control) his little Medicine Buddhas got up and started dancing to the doo-wop music; stepping around and snapping their fingers, and then they all at the same time suddenly had little lassos, which they twirled and caught the nasty black cancerous cells which were emerging from the problem spots.
So, yeah. If anyone can heal themselves with brain power it'll probably be him.
Oh, quick ETA: He also asked me if I could draw that scene for him. I don't know if I could do it in one frame! But I do think that trying might be helpful for me.
I decided long ago that I would look at the worst possible outcome so that I could be pleasantly surprised if things didn't turn out that way, but that's completely the wrong way to approach this situation. I'm not sure I can change my habits, though.
Hawk told me about his session last Tuesday, I don't recall if it was chemo or radiation and... it was odd, but interesting. I have to admit that I don't really get this meditation thing where people seem to experience things that are like their imagination getting away from them, or hallucinations, maybe. Anyway, his experience was that he laid down on the table in the treatment room where there was doo-wop music playing over the sound system, and he started imaging himself as Medicine Buddha, with the glowing blue skin.
Then he pictured little Medicine Buddhas sitting on each of the cancer spots that they've located in his chest, meditating and healing him.
Then (and this is the part that he related as astonishing, as thought it were not under his control) his little Medicine Buddhas got up and started dancing to the doo-wop music; stepping around and snapping their fingers, and then they all at the same time suddenly had little lassos, which they twirled and caught the nasty black cancerous cells which were emerging from the problem spots.
So, yeah. If anyone can heal themselves with brain power it'll probably be him.
Oh, quick ETA: He also asked me if I could draw that scene for him. I don't know if I could do it in one frame! But I do think that trying might be helpful for me.