derien | The rumor mill (Reply)

Yesterday one of our supervisors (HC) didn't come in, and there's rumors he's quit. If so it will save me the trouble of having to decide whether to be nice to him or not. Last Thursday he spoke sharply to me in public for being back late from my first break (which I was sure I was not) and I spent the rest of that day and the whole next day pretending he didn't exist. On the end of the day, Friday, he made a friendly overture (addressing me directly and making an in-joke, then offering me a comfy chair to sit down). I hate being put in that kind of situation, where someone's been an asshole to me and then tries to make all friendly. They'll just be an asshole again, soon enough. If he quit, maybe someone will move into his position who won't be an asshole and force me to ignore them. On the other hand, of course, I do have to find some way to get myself to let go of the anger and start being nice to people again. As it is I tend to have a problem with people in authority because every time they speak to me in a way I think is unfair I get all bent out of shape and stay that way. And I don't ever go out of my way to talk to people (it's not that I'm unfriendly, I'm just not a conversationalist and can't be bothered), so I don't get to know people who are above my peer group, which means I'll never have the opportunity to move up, no matter where I work.

I feel so horrible I don't think I'm going in, today. Depends if they need me. I've called and left a message on one machine... maybe I'll try again and see if I can get a person. I want to know if I can stay home. I desperately want to stay home.

edit: Finally got a person, and they don't need me today, so I'm taking sick time. This was not the way I wanted to do it, it's all wrong, because I called so late. I know they want you to call earlier, but I was trying to make it in, I thought I could. I just couldn't.