Wha?

[derien]

eor told me about an entry on yesterday's Post Secret.  Lined paper with tape on it, in thick red ink it says "Sarah's Beaver" and a date, and in smaller hand it says "I found this in a safety lock box under my boyfriend's bed.  It contains the pubic hair of his ex-girlfriend.  He kept it for 8 years.  Now it's yours and he's my ex-boyfriend." 

It's a safety lock box.  Under HIS bed.  What right does she have to go snooping into his keepsakes?  She has no clue what this means or doesn't mean - or at least we're given none in context.  It could be something given him on the occasion of his losing his virginity (Eor contends the original red handwriting is also feminine.), or something he shoved in there, forgot about, didn't happen to throw out, and has lost all emotional connection to.  Either way, she doesn't even live with him, and if their relationship became that strong he might well have eventually decided to throw it out.  But that should be his choice to make, it's his keepsake, in his locked box.  Her note reeks of self-righteous indignation, but I don't see that she has any moral high-ground, here.  All that keeping a pubic hair indicates to me is a possible touch of mild perversion, which many people have a bit of - it doesn't make them lesser people. 

I think she's just letting society tell her that she should be upset.  We get these sorts of messages all the time from television and such; that we ought to throw a fit if someone has any slight perversion or indicates any attachment to someone they used to be involved with.  I don't know that the rest of her relationship with this guy was perfectly good, of course - she might just have been looking for some way to end it, or she was getting tired of having one steady and wanted to getting back to playing the field, I don't know, but regardless I think this particular excuse for breaking up is a pretty damned lame one.  I can only hope that the reason she sent that to post secret is that she's ashamed of herself for being so petty. 

Which brings me to an earlier topic of the day.  For some reason we were talking about ideals when we first woke up.  Ideals in relationships, specifically, but the same applies to all parts of life.  Ideals are a wonderful thing in themselves - deciding what one's ideals are helps one clarify thinking, if one weighs them out and makes sure that one is not holding ideals which are mutually incompatible.  They give you something to work for.  But expecting life - your job or other people or the world - to actually live up to those ideals is not only foolish, it only brings you pain and disappointment. 

Oops, I don't know if I've said all I wanted to, but it's time for me to go to work - byeee!