I got paid! :)

Not much, but it means I'm on payroll.:)

So, I think I promised to tell some TSA jokes....

TSA = Transportation Security Authority.... But what else does it stand for?

Taking Scissors Away (Yeah, we _do_ all think it sounds a bit silly to have to take away scissors, but guess what? You can't fly with them anymore.)

Thousands Standing Around (There's 84 of us being trained at my airport, and even though we're broken into 3 shifts the fact is that the space we're in is barely larger than my living-room - it does seem a bit crowded. There's only about 20 positions which can be worked at any one time, consequently there's always a number of people on break.)

Two Scoops Anywayyoulikeit (Okay, it's a stretch, but the idea is good customer service - and we're really working on being friendly and fun and put people at ease with the whole thing.)

So, the other day we had a passenger with a _really_ bad attitude, and I was lucky enough to witness this particular exchange. An older guy, he came in all pissy and tense, and was ready to blow his top when he set off the Walk-Through Metal Detector (aka Magnometer, or Mag) and had to be subjected to inspection by the Hand-Held Metal Detector (or Wand - I like that word, 'Wand'). Anyway, the traineed stepped aside and let a trainer take over, because this guy was in such a bad mood. The passenger sputtered "Americans aren't terrorists!" The trainer, always cool and quick-thinking (and maybe he's dealt with similar before, ya think?) responded "Tell me about Oklahoma City, then?" "Well that guy was a first rate _asshole_!!" says the passenger. The trainor looked him in the eye and said quietly, "So are people who argue with me right about now, sir." Deflation. "What do you want me to do?"

So, the next day this same trainer happened to meet the Director, who mentioned he'd heard about the incident. And the trainer starts to get nervous, because the Director is a suit. But then the Director looks at him and says "You know what TSA stands for? 'Tough Shit, Asshole!'"

I wouldn't call that a customer service failure, though - that guy really came into the whole situation so wound up that there was not a thing anyone could have said to jolly him.

Magic wands

Joke of the day from this morning's shift - A female passenger was watching a (male) trainee use the wand metal detector on a male passenger. From her vantage point she sees that the trainee wands the feet, and the passenger takes his shoes off. Then the trainee starts to wand around the upper body, and the passenger takes his jacket off. The trainee moves down the torso and the passenger undoes his belt buckle. And the woman watching exclaimes, "I want one of these magic wands! You just waive it around and guys start undressing!"