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AGAIN. I'm so sick of rolling around with stupid thoughts chasing around my head. There was no point in trying to pretend I was going to sleep any more, since the alarm is going off at 4AM today.
I was actually considering (not seriously, mind you, because I know I haven't got the attentions span for it right now) breeding chinchilla, and designing cages (with runs set up so that you can keep the chinchilla apart when you don't want them breeding, but they won't be lonely) in my head. Grr! It's not like I'm ever going to do that, or like it's anything that would have occured to me except at 1:30 in the frikking morning. I only woke up because I had to pee, and then this stuff just starts and goes, it won't stop.
Why chinchilla, specifically? My grandparents raised chinchilla for fur a loooong long time ago - I think it was my great grandfather who started into the business. I think they shifted to mink when my mother was a little girl, but apparently they liked the chinchilla a lot more. I have a couple of paintings of chinchilla that my grandmother did - one on a glass, the other on a silk scarf.
I've got to wonder, though - it seems against the instincts of humanity to raise animals for their fur. If you like them you don't want to kill them (in the case of the chinchilla) and if, as in the case of the mink, you think they're horrible and deserve to die, you probably don't want to breed them and raise them. How can you properly care for something you dislike?
And that wasn't the only stupid, random thing floating around my head. And all this after I came home early from work because I was so damn tired. I mean, bone exhausted. It's not like I didn't get enough sleep last night (though I did have another insomnia night earlier this week), but it's like work has just beat me down to the point where all I do is put my head down and just bull through another week, trying to think as little as possible.
Yeah. I think I'm depressed. I don't think it's for any other reason than that work has me just so beat down. I don't want to do anything at all in my off time, just turn my brain off. And then I feel upset because I didn't get anything done, which makes it all worse. Today we're getting up so early to go shopping for hiking equipment. Tomorrow we intend to try a hike I'm a bit daunted by. Well, would be, if I had the energy to be.
I have a headache that goes right down my nose.
edited to add: I was wrong about when the alarm was set for - it was 5AM. Oh well. I probably still couldn't have slept more.
I was actually considering (not seriously, mind you, because I know I haven't got the attentions span for it right now) breeding chinchilla, and designing cages (with runs set up so that you can keep the chinchilla apart when you don't want them breeding, but they won't be lonely) in my head. Grr! It's not like I'm ever going to do that, or like it's anything that would have occured to me except at 1:30 in the frikking morning. I only woke up because I had to pee, and then this stuff just starts and goes, it won't stop.
Why chinchilla, specifically? My grandparents raised chinchilla for fur a loooong long time ago - I think it was my great grandfather who started into the business. I think they shifted to mink when my mother was a little girl, but apparently they liked the chinchilla a lot more. I have a couple of paintings of chinchilla that my grandmother did - one on a glass, the other on a silk scarf.
I've got to wonder, though - it seems against the instincts of humanity to raise animals for their fur. If you like them you don't want to kill them (in the case of the chinchilla) and if, as in the case of the mink, you think they're horrible and deserve to die, you probably don't want to breed them and raise them. How can you properly care for something you dislike?
And that wasn't the only stupid, random thing floating around my head. And all this after I came home early from work because I was so damn tired. I mean, bone exhausted. It's not like I didn't get enough sleep last night (though I did have another insomnia night earlier this week), but it's like work has just beat me down to the point where all I do is put my head down and just bull through another week, trying to think as little as possible.
Yeah. I think I'm depressed. I don't think it's for any other reason than that work has me just so beat down. I don't want to do anything at all in my off time, just turn my brain off. And then I feel upset because I didn't get anything done, which makes it all worse. Today we're getting up so early to go shopping for hiking equipment. Tomorrow we intend to try a hike I'm a bit daunted by. Well, would be, if I had the energy to be.
I have a headache that goes right down my nose.
edited to add: I was wrong about when the alarm was set for - it was 5AM. Oh well. I probably still couldn't have slept more.