When you're dropping off your luggage and the screener asks "is your bag locked?" the information that they wish to know is if the bag has a lock on it. A lock is a device which can only be opened with some specific knowledge or implement, such as a key or a combination. A twist tie is not a lock. A zip tie is not a lock. A peice of yarn is not a lock. The answer to "is your bag locked?" should be "yes" or "no." Not, "Well, as locked as it's going to be. I don't know who would want to steal my bowling balls." Especially not when I'm dashing to the front of the machine to collect your bag and I have something like eight seconds to get back behind the console before it starts to do it's thing once again.

Also... why would anyone pack a 2-liter of Pepsi? Afraid that they will arrive in their hotel room and not be able to get any Pepsi? That's a severe addiction.

Oh, but the best bag I opened today: A golf bag, and there's golf balls and golf shoes and such... but no golf clubs. Instead of clubs they had a couple of mops and some type of long handled scrubber. There are no mops where they're going, and they need to clean up the golf course?

So, while I can still remember them, here's some of the silly jokes I heard today (I have forgotten something key about the setup of the best one, so I'll leave that for now.):

Did you hear that a couple of little old ladies had some trouble at the airport? They had knitting needles, but that's okay if you also have yarn. The problems started when they said they were going to knit an Afghan.

Did you hear about the teacher who had trouble at theairport? He had a slide rule and textbooks and compasses. They arrested him for having Weapons of Maths Instruction. He was also suspected of having links to a terrorist group called Al Gebra.

I can't use the line, "these are the jokes, I don't dance," because I do dance. ;)
ext_14419: the mouse that wants Arthur's brain (Default)

From: [identity profile] derien.livejournal.com


Yeah, it is hard to keep a good attitude lots of times, as I know you are well aware.:) The people are harder to deal with at the checkpoint than any other place I've ever worked. Not only the passengers and their sheer numbers, frustrations, and having to get all touchy-feely with them, but also the supervisors and co-workers. Most of the co-workers I love to death, but I sort of have to in order to not kill them, as we do chew each other new assholes all the time in the course of getting annoyed about stuff.

I DO hope that the 'Jetport' expansion will include more space for us so we can have proper staging areas for the passengers, space for doing the selectees properly, and more equipment. Some of the new procedures are really time/space/equipment intensive and are making things all screwed up, here.
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derien: It's a cup of tea and a white mouse.  The mouse is offering to buy Arthur's brain and replace it with a simple computer. (Default)
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