What should be and what is...

[derien]

What I should be doing...

I have a pile of holiday cards here I need to get out. 

I have to try to phone my brothers (not this morning because they're on the west coast).

I have to balance my checking account.

I have to get a new battery for my alarm clock - it started making a funny chirping noise at the end of it's normal ring sound, this morning.


What I'm actually doing...

- Looking at porn.

I spent an hour writing a comment for lucylou's post of a dirty picture to indeedsir.  (Yes, it's Wooster and Jeeves doing the nasty.  Don't click here if you're at work or otherwise don't want to see, um, sock garters and not much other clothing.)  Well, yes, I think I spent the time making comments because I care about art and artists.  I was not happy when I saw how much space I'd devoted to the constructive criticism part of my response as opposed to the praise part, but I suppose if one is going to be truly constructive it requires space. 

Anyway, after I was done with that I realized I wasn't going back to bed, so had my shower and made tea. 

- Trying to resist reading the newest chapter of daegaer's story at mars_assassins until I can read it over breakfast. 

- Feeling badly that chn_breathmint is now so scared of the TSA that she's decided not to come to the U.S. (even though she wasn't going to visit me). 

I feel rather bothered about that whole incident, actually.  I think there's a whole lot that strange_selkie neglected to say in the post which scared Mel, whether by purposeful or accidental ommision or because she didn't realize some of what was going on.  I elaborated somewhat in a reply to harlecerule's comment on my post of yesterday.  In a nutshell, strange_selkie posted a story of how she was cavity searched by TSA, given no reason for it beyond 'discrepancies in your ID.'  Her post has been picked apart on metafilter and holes seem to appear in her story, but I don't really hold the holes against her as I don't think anyone's story initially is 100% clear and accurate no matter how truthful they may think they are being.  The picking gained her some anonymous trolls, apparently, so she friendslocked her original story so you can no longer read it, and made a response here.  (I haven't read it all, nor all the comments.)  In other words, it's turned into a typical internet shitstorm.  (People also pointed out that she does display some racism in her comments saying she shouldn't have been picked for additional screening because she is white and wasn't wearing a headcloth or anything.  I'm sure we all have some blind spots and assumptions.  It bothers me that she seems completely unaware of it and in fact in denial of it, but it's neither here nor there in the larger setting of her story, I think.)    Anyway, I'm right now composing a comment for strange_selkie with the number for TSA Office of Civil Rights, because I think that whenever someone is badly treated they need to stand up and shout about it or they're leaving it for someone else to be badly treated.   

Okay, now it's time for dishes and making breakfast, then I get to read mars_assassins.:)

Comments

[chn-breathmint.livejournal.com]

I guess the real underlying issue is I have been raped and abused by other authority figures, and nobody believed me because who's really going to believe a 10 year old over an upstanding parishioner?

It's because of this I have a niggling mistrust of most authority figures up to and including security staff.

The physical violation of a cavity search just triggered me more - there's already the fear that if something happens to me, it's my word against theirs, and would a filthy furriner even be trusted?

What if they really do go overboard? I don't think I could cope with the ramifications of sexual molestation again. I'm scared, and I honestly would do better with someone I trusted to hold my hand or at least protect me. Bear witness so that it's someone else's word plus mine. So someone believes me.

Unfortunately, plane fares being what they are, this is about as likely as a snowball's chance in Hell. I don't know how to solve this fear.

- Mel