derien: It's a cup of tea and a white mouse.  The mouse is offering to buy Arthur's brain and replace it with a simple computer. (Default)
([personal profile] derien Dec. 11th, 2004 08:27 am)
I'm stealing this wholesale from [livejournal.com profile] inscrutable:
I invite you, gentle reader, to share with me a dumb joke. It can be your favorite dumb joke, or the most recent one to make you groan, it doesn't matter.

Regale me with stupid humor.


*

Memo to myself - If I must type while pbj toast is sitting in front of my keyboard, I must sit up straight.  *licks jam off her forearm*

From: [identity profile] daegaer.livejournal.com


A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging out of the front of his trousers. The barman can''t help but comment.

"Excuse me," he says, "did you know there's a steering wheel in your trousers?"

"Arr," says the pirate, "it's drivin' me nuts."

From: [identity profile] littleredhead.livejournal.com

most recent groan


this one is really better outloud in a bad british accent...

Where does Bluebeard keep his buccaneers?

On the sides of his buccan'ead!


From: [identity profile] dances-withcats.livejournal.com


Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Dwayne!

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the bathtub, I'm dwowning!

---------------------

Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?

*wiggle head from side to side toward shoulders* "Like, I dunno!"

From: [identity profile] tronella.livejournal.com


What do you get if a boat full of red paint crashes into a boat full of blue paint?
Marooned :)
beowabbit: (wacko pie grin demented funny)

From: [personal profile] beowabbit


How do you catch a unique rabbit?

Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?

Tame way, unique up on it.

From: [identity profile] luvsrimmer.livejournal.com


Two bags of potatoes are standing on a streetcorner, how do you know which one is the prostitute?

It's the one that says I da ho.

From: [identity profile] mizzmarvel.livejournal.com


Why did the cowboy buy a daucsand?
Someone told him to get a long little doggy.

How many ADD kids goes it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Let's go ride bikes!

From: [identity profile] inscrutable.livejournal.com


Why did the cowboy buy a daucsand?
Someone told him to get a long little doggy.


HAH!

Ok that one made me laugh out loud.

Great!

Here's mine. It of course works better if you say it out loud.

Knock Knock.
Who's There?
Control Freak... Now you say "control freak who?"



(It's of course very important you interrupt them with the last part.)
ext_14419: the mouse that wants Arthur's brain (Default)

From: [identity profile] derien.livejournal.com



Knock Knock.
Who's There?
Control Freak... Now you say "control freak who?"


Oo, I'm going to have to use that on some of my co-workers!
ext_14419: the mouse that wants Arthur's brain (Default)

From: [identity profile] derien.livejournal.com


Why did the cowboy buy a daucsand?
Someone told him to get a long little doggy.


aaaah! *grin!!*

How many ADD kids goes it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Let's go ride bikes!


Love that one - lightbulb jokes are my favorite. :)

From: [identity profile] eor.livejournal.com


*licks jam off her forearm*

Now if you could do that to your elbow that would be a talent.


ext_14419: the mouse that wants Arthur's brain (Default)

From: [identity profile] derien.livejournal.com


And if I had that kind of talent I'd be making much more money than I am. ;)

From: [identity profile] licking-suntan.livejournal.com


Speaking of jam, here's the joke I meant to post for Inscrutable but didn't get around to it:

Why were the little strawberries upset?

They were in a jam.
beowabbit: (smileypumpkin smiley pumpkin)

From: [personal profile] beowabbit


Oh, here’s another one!

What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

Dunggggggggg

 

On a related note, what’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

From: [identity profile] jimdes.livejournal.com


Q: What does a bee do with his stinger when he gets home from work?

A: He sticks it in his honey.

And another one just as stupid . . .

Q: What's the definition of trust?

A: Two cannibals having oral sex.
ext_14419: the mouse that wants Arthur's brain (Default)

From: [identity profile] derien.livejournal.com


*grooaaan* heheheh. :) Trust you to come up with something like that. I like the cannibals.;)

You're using LJ again, you're using LJ again! *squee!*
ext_6382: Blue-toned picture of cow with inquisitive expression (Default)

From: [identity profile] bravecows.livejournal.com


This is from The Mating Season, wherein it is told by Our Bertie:

Two deaf guys are on a train at Wembley.
"Is this Wembley?" says the first guy.
"No, it's Thursday," says the second.
"Yeah, so am I," says the first.

(It's not even funny! I love Bertie.)
ext_14419: the mouse that wants Arthur's brain (Default)

From: [identity profile] derien.livejournal.com

EEEEEEEEEEEEeeeee


hahah! I giggled at the joke and had to repeat it a couple of times and [livejournal.com profile] eor just smiled at me. Of course what was really killing me was that you found a stupid joke from Jeeves and Wooster to tell me! :)
.

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derien: It's a cup of tea and a white mouse.  The mouse is offering to buy Arthur's brain and replace it with a simple computer. (Default)
Curried Goat in a paper cup

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