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angaisepaon, who posted it on daegaer's LJ -
Little Girl Giant
Again today, after Eor left, I went back to bed, but couldn't really go back to sleep. I was cold, fretful, couldn't get warm and couldn't calm down - a nasty state. I couldn't feel guilty about the fact that I wasn't exercising, and couldn't seem to drag myself up with promises that I'd feel much better about myself if I just WOULD exercise. One thing I was fretting about one of my co-workers who was crying in the breakroom, yesterday. I'm afraid he won't be with us much longer (just a sense I got from the way someone was attempting not to say something) and that some people feel that, even though they sympathize and are trying to help him, that he may have brought whatever trouble this is upon himself. Not knowing what was going on, yesterday, I just went up and patted him on the shoulder and told him I was rooting for him. It rips my heart out to see someone crying like that.
Other things, of course, included things that I wasn't doing while I was hiding under the blankets. Which is completely self-inflicted and ridiculous.
I finally pulled myself out with promises of ghiradelli hot chocolate. I'm glad I have that. I suppose I won't buy myself more when it's gone because it's so expensive (this cannister was a gift, because a coworker was moving and he said he was just trying to clean off shelves so he'd have less to move.) Then again maybe I might because I don't use it fast, but it's so good when I want it. And the first cup was so good that I had another, and read lots of drabbles over at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
discworld100, many of which were quite good. There's one person who seems to have a rather... spotty grasp of punctuation, which makes her drabbles an enigma to me. I sat there attempting to puzzle some sort of sense out of them a couple of times and then finally looked at the name, said, "Oh, her again," and moved on. Finally I decided I really needed a few painkillers. I may need a few more, too. Only I think I'll wait until I'm at work, because I shouldn't drive if I've had too many.
Then I decided food might be in order, and fried some potatoes with some eggs, singing the budada picker's song ("Live in a trailer at the edge of the spudfield - gettin' dark and I wanna go home - all the wallpaper is a-made out of spudpeels - gettin' dark and I wanna go home! Ayuh - ayuh, I said aaayuh..." yeah, you know the tune.) and made some Stinky Tea, because apparently chocolate alone is not enough, and went back to fight with YouTube and sign myself up so I could watch one of the more risque videos someone posted fordaegaer.
The only upside, today: I went looking for some of the old uniform pants, the ones with the pleats, because my lower belly is feeling so bloated and tender, and couldn't find them, but tried on some of Eor's 34inch waist pants and they pretty much fit. If they fit when I'm feeling bloated, that's kinda cool. I was seriously considering wearing them to work, but they're black, not navy blue. People do get away with it.
Well, it's also an upside that I have a car, today.
Basically I'm on a nasty cusp of 'grrar!' and 'waaaah!'.
angaisepaon, who posted it on daegaer's LJ - Little Girl Giant
Again today, after Eor left, I went back to bed, but couldn't really go back to sleep. I was cold, fretful, couldn't get warm and couldn't calm down - a nasty state. I couldn't feel guilty about the fact that I wasn't exercising, and couldn't seem to drag myself up with promises that I'd feel much better about myself if I just WOULD exercise. One thing I was fretting about one of my co-workers who was crying in the breakroom, yesterday. I'm afraid he won't be with us much longer (just a sense I got from the way someone was attempting not to say something) and that some people feel that, even though they sympathize and are trying to help him, that he may have brought whatever trouble this is upon himself. Not knowing what was going on, yesterday, I just went up and patted him on the shoulder and told him I was rooting for him. It rips my heart out to see someone crying like that.
Other things, of course, included things that I wasn't doing while I was hiding under the blankets. Which is completely self-inflicted and ridiculous.
I finally pulled myself out with promises of ghiradelli hot chocolate. I'm glad I have that. I suppose I won't buy myself more when it's gone because it's so expensive (this cannister was a gift, because a coworker was moving and he said he was just trying to clean off shelves so he'd have less to move.) Then again maybe I might because I don't use it fast, but it's so good when I want it. And the first cup was so good that I had another, and read lots of drabbles over at
discworld100, many of which were quite good. There's one person who seems to have a rather... spotty grasp of punctuation, which makes her drabbles an enigma to me. I sat there attempting to puzzle some sort of sense out of them a couple of times and then finally looked at the name, said, "Oh, her again," and moved on. Finally I decided I really needed a few painkillers. I may need a few more, too. Only I think I'll wait until I'm at work, because I shouldn't drive if I've had too many. Then I decided food might be in order, and fried some potatoes with some eggs, singing the budada picker's song ("Live in a trailer at the edge of the spudfield - gettin' dark and I wanna go home - all the wallpaper is a-made out of spudpeels - gettin' dark and I wanna go home! Ayuh - ayuh, I said aaayuh..." yeah, you know the tune.) and made some Stinky Tea, because apparently chocolate alone is not enough, and went back to fight with YouTube and sign myself up so I could watch one of the more risque videos someone posted for
daegaer. The only upside, today: I went looking for some of the old uniform pants, the ones with the pleats, because my lower belly is feeling so bloated and tender, and couldn't find them, but tried on some of Eor's 34inch waist pants and they pretty much fit. If they fit when I'm feeling bloated, that's kinda cool. I was seriously considering wearing them to work, but they're black, not navy blue. People do get away with it.
Well, it's also an upside that I have a car, today.
Basically I'm on a nasty cusp of 'grrar!' and 'waaaah!'.