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I arrived quite late to work, yesterday, but as I mentioned it was okay - in fact, they hadn't expected me at all, as the message had been relayed that I was going to be out sick rather than that I would be late. They had moved Tinkerbell upstairs in my place because they needed another woman at the checkpoint, but that worked out perfectly. I needed to be downstairs for one day of the week anyway, to keep my certification. (I think it's actually one day a month, but they're making an effort to make it one day a week so that if they end up missing it my certification won't lapse accidentally.)
And yesterday was a good day for me to be downstairs, also, because my new trainee, V., had gone home as soon as she arrived that morning. I'd kind of wondered if she would be in. Night before last, as we were leaving, she got the message that her grandfather had died, and her grandfather's decline was so quick - over a matter of a couple of days - that it's not surprising that she needed a little time off. I think she'll be back, though, because one of the last things he said to her was, "how's your new job?" Old guys and that work-ethic thing, ya gotta love 'em. :)
The other trainee (D.) who's sister died has not come back to work, yet. Although I'm really not surprised - it's got to be a lot tougher to have a sibling die, especially when you're as young as D. is. I had told Axeman Pink that I didn't think she would come back at all. I might not, under similar circumstances. He made out that he thought I was somehow emotionally unbalanced if I would associate a place so strongly with a fluke event that had nothing to do with the place besides congruence in time that I would not want to go back to the place, but I don't think it's so unreasonable. That sentence, however, is nearly unparsable, and I can't figure out how to make it better.
Then yesterday, when I told him about D.'s grandfather, he pointed out that I was present when both trainees got the news that family members had died, and tried to make out that I was some kind of angel of death. Sorry, I'm not buying it. :) I'd just like to point out that I saw no shadows on their faces before the events. (My father claims to see The Shadow of Death sometimes, but I'm not ever going there. I do not want to see that.)
It IS pretty bizarre that two trainees from the same batch - and there were only three IN the batch - had family members die. I'm debating asking the third trainee, B., if all her family members are healthy. Maybe I won't. She's not used to my strange sense of humor, yet.
Still... I don't know. I don't want to come across sounding like some crazy-ass mystic or something - honestly I don't know how to think of what I'm going to say. It may just be something I made up for myself to give me comfort. But while I was under sedation for my wisdom teeth being pulled, you recall I mentioned that everything seemed like it Made Sense for a moment? It felt like everything swirled faster and faster down a funnel, all of my life spiraling in toward that one moment, and it was the same moment before the universe began and after it will end. It made me feel as though after we get done playing this game we can get together and have a laugh about it and then play another one. That doesn't mean I feel like slacking off, because part of that 'realization' (or comfort, whatever it was) was that the game is more fun when you play hard. To experience is the point. (ETA, because, perhaps, I've thought of a slightly better way to say it: We keep ourselves from remembering that moment because if we lived there all the time we wouldn't throw ourselves into the game as hard and have as much fun.)
Yeah, okay. :) Like I said, maybe I made this up because I felt a need for it. Ha! I just realized I need a new icon! *googles!* This picture only needed the slightest manipulation to be a perfect icon.:) I have this t-shirt, it's always been one of my favorites. :)
And yesterday was a good day for me to be downstairs, also, because my new trainee, V., had gone home as soon as she arrived that morning. I'd kind of wondered if she would be in. Night before last, as we were leaving, she got the message that her grandfather had died, and her grandfather's decline was so quick - over a matter of a couple of days - that it's not surprising that she needed a little time off. I think she'll be back, though, because one of the last things he said to her was, "how's your new job?" Old guys and that work-ethic thing, ya gotta love 'em. :)
The other trainee (D.) who's sister died has not come back to work, yet. Although I'm really not surprised - it's got to be a lot tougher to have a sibling die, especially when you're as young as D. is. I had told Axeman Pink that I didn't think she would come back at all. I might not, under similar circumstances. He made out that he thought I was somehow emotionally unbalanced if I would associate a place so strongly with a fluke event that had nothing to do with the place besides congruence in time that I would not want to go back to the place, but I don't think it's so unreasonable. That sentence, however, is nearly unparsable, and I can't figure out how to make it better.
Then yesterday, when I told him about D.'s grandfather, he pointed out that I was present when both trainees got the news that family members had died, and tried to make out that I was some kind of angel of death. Sorry, I'm not buying it. :) I'd just like to point out that I saw no shadows on their faces before the events. (My father claims to see The Shadow of Death sometimes, but I'm not ever going there. I do not want to see that.)
It IS pretty bizarre that two trainees from the same batch - and there were only three IN the batch - had family members die. I'm debating asking the third trainee, B., if all her family members are healthy. Maybe I won't. She's not used to my strange sense of humor, yet.
Still... I don't know. I don't want to come across sounding like some crazy-ass mystic or something - honestly I don't know how to think of what I'm going to say. It may just be something I made up for myself to give me comfort. But while I was under sedation for my wisdom teeth being pulled, you recall I mentioned that everything seemed like it Made Sense for a moment? It felt like everything swirled faster and faster down a funnel, all of my life spiraling in toward that one moment, and it was the same moment before the universe began and after it will end. It made me feel as though after we get done playing this game we can get together and have a laugh about it and then play another one. That doesn't mean I feel like slacking off, because part of that 'realization' (or comfort, whatever it was) was that the game is more fun when you play hard. To experience is the point. (ETA, because, perhaps, I've thought of a slightly better way to say it: We keep ourselves from remembering that moment because if we lived there all the time we wouldn't throw ourselves into the game as hard and have as much fun.)
Yeah, okay. :) Like I said, maybe I made this up because I felt a need for it. Ha! I just realized I need a new icon! *googles!* This picture only needed the slightest manipulation to be a perfect icon.:) I have this t-shirt, it's always been one of my favorites. :)
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