The difference between "the shit" and "shit"

[derien]

I woke up before my alarm clock and rolled out of bed, tired but aware that I have to start getting my ass in gear earlier because I was nearly late for work, yesterday. Had my shower, put the goop in my hair, congratulating myself on the fact my internal alarm clock can wake me up so well, and was washing the stove when I looked up at the wall clock. My first thought was that the battery must by dying, but I had a sinking feeling as I looked down at the front of the stove to double-check.

2:20AM.

My damned body woke me up at two minutes before 2AM, not two minutes before 5AM. I don't even know why I believed it, because I looked at the clock before I got up, too. I just transformed 1:58 into 4:58 in my head, apparently.

Augh.

So, the second time I got up I decided I did not have to take another shower.