I'm not hot shit in a wineglass, more curried goat in a paper cup

But not completely still, because that would be bad.

Yesterday when I got home, around 5:30, my heart started racing. Initially I didn't realize that was the problem, I just felt kind of faint and fluttery around the solar plexus, and taking into account that I hadn't eaten for a while and had hung out waiting for Hawk to get two of his toenails removed (having to see your little brother in pain is a little stressful) and then driven home in a major snowstorm (also stressful), I thought it might be a low blood sugar reaction, so I made something to eat (rice and egg in bouillon broth) and tried to read for a bit, but after a while I realized that my heartbeat was shaking my whole body back and forth enough to be distracting from reading.

( cut for length )
So, here's the things we learned from last night:

If you have your toenails removed, expect it to bleed a lot, build your foot a little tent in your bed with stacks of books or a box to keep your blankets off it, and plan to keep your foot elevated for a couple of days or it will swell.

If your heart is racing, massage the carotid artery (one side at a time). Sometimes a perfectly healthy heart can start in at double time and a little pressure on the carotid can reset the receptors that tell the heart how fast to beat.