Cursed

[derien]

I spoke too soon. Depression began to catch up with me today. And, this evening, as I attempted to put my after-dinner time to good use with job-hunting, I found that I can't e-mail out my resume (why I don't know, it just hangs every e-mail I attache it to), I can't update it on my website (my ftp refuses to connect properly), I can't put it on a disk (my 3.5 drive corrupts every disk I put in it) and I can't print it out (my printer has decided, suddenly, that black ink is too boring for it). I feel really cursed. My resume is up on Monster, so that's something.

Now, something which kept me up last night - How do I know if someone really thinks of me as a friend? Yeah, I know this is something I should have figured out when I was in high school and I'm almost frikkin 35, but I'm socially retarded, okay? I'd love some feedback on the comments page.

Comments

Ramble about friendship.

[eve-l-incarnata.livejournal.com]

Many people abuse that word "friend". Its like "fun", which is all-too-often used as a euphemism for sex. I don't use "friend" freely, as I've had quite a few bad experiences with people I thought were my friends. "Acquaintance" works quite well in most circumstances.

I suppose there are levels of friendship. Because I'm living somewhere that I don't have a lot in common with the people I live around, I've thought about the topic of "friendship" quite a lot.

I think of you as a friend. You helped me move, that's a BIG deal to me.

How do you know when someone thinks of you as a friend? Birthday cards are a Big Deal. I don't get many of them, but when I do it's usually from someone who is a friend, or on their way there. Not everyone remembers birthdays, but if someone goes out of their way at some point to do something special for you, well... I'd say that if they aren't your friend, they have good friendship potential.

Attempts to keep in touch over the years are a big indication. I try to send everyone without computer access at least a postcard every time I move. It always makes me sad when I open up the mailbox and see one of these returned because a forwarding order has expired.

So not everyone writes, calls, sends e-mail or birthday cards. It's hard to know when someone like that is really your friend, isn't it?